7 Lessons Learned From Living Overseas

1—People are people

People may look and act different than me, but they have emotions, hopes, heartaches, and aspirations just like everyone else.

2—People have different worldviews

I may sound like I am contradicting myself but, while people are people, different people in different places think about the world very differently. As Atticus Finch says in To Kill A Mockingbird, “You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view … until you climb into his skin and walk around in it.” I have done my best to climb into the skin of the people of Turkey and I’ve discovered that we think about the world very differently.

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3—Let it go

(cue the Disney soundtrack) When I moved overseas I wanted to live like a local. I didn’t want to just plant my American self in a different country and continue living my American lifestyle. In America in an afternoon one can often have lunch with a friend, go to the bank, mail a letter at the post office, pay a bill, and grab a grande flat white at some point in the process. Not so here. Systems work differently and people have a different understanding of time. This was a challenge at first but in an effort to live like a local I have tried to learn to let it go.

4—Time may be money but that doesn’t mean it’s worth the cost

People here spend time with each other. Long times. It’s not uncommon to meet a friend for coffee and break up the party three hours later. Being invited over for dinner can be a five hour affair. Picnic invitation? You’re looking at a full day. I’ve learned that productivity is not ultimate but that it is good to take time with friendships. It’s okay to have long conversations. Did I finish my list for the day? Probably not. But which is more important: people or a list?

You haven’t lived until you’ve done a Turkish picnic. This is no sandwich and chips affair. The whole kitchen comes along for a day full of grilled meats, salads, and more.

5—America does doughnuts well

I probably have a doughnut problem. As a kid when I spent time with my grandfather he would always take me to Dunkin’ Donuts. I think the origins of my doughnut obsession can be traced back here. Friends, let me just say I’ve tried to find a good doughnut overseas, but all I can conclude from my search is that America does doughnuts well.

Krispy Kreme is in Turkey but as far as I know the only stores are in Istanbul. However, Krispy Kreme delivers (but not in the summer because the doughnuts will melt). Place your order and two days later a box of individually packaged doughnuts will… — Krispy Kreme is in Turkey but as far as I know the only stores are in Istanbul. However, Krispy Kreme delivers (but not in the summer because the doughnuts will melt). Place your order and two days later a box of individually packaged doughnuts will be waiting for you. Pop those babies in the microwave for eight seconds and you would never know they weren’t “Hot Now.”

6—Charades is a life skill

Do you remember as a kid when you did something good together as a class and the whole class was rewarded with a game of charades? Unbeknownst to your elementary school teacher he or she was preparing you with valuable life skills. There’s not much that can’t be communicated via the dramatic arts. Gotta go to the bathroom in a hurry? Charades. Wanna order beef instead of lamb at the meat counter? Yep. Charades. Trying to figure out if this bus goes by your house? Charades. Of course learning the language is great for deep and meaningful conversations. But before you get there? Charades.

I don’t know if this is what I was expecting when I ordered a waffle.

7—Living overseas makes coming home sweeter

I’ve always loved adventure and travel. But now that I’ve grown older and lived overseas for several years I realize how much I love home. And for me that is Knoxville, TN. This doesn’t happen every time, but sometimes when you land in the US and go through passport control and after the agent has checked his or her computer and decided that America still wants you, they will say the words that elicit a lump in my throat and cause tears to well in my eyes: “Welcome home.” But for me this is the penultimate moment of the journey home. I still need to climb into a small airplane with two seats on one side and one seat on the other and make the quick trip from whatever international East Coast airport I have landed in to Knoxville. When I walk through the security barrier into the main terminal with its indoor river and black bear sculptures and I see my family waiting for me, then I know I’m home. And I don’t know that I would have ever tasted the sweetness of that moment if I had not known the distance and separation of living overseas.